{"id":6284,"date":"2024-09-30T14:08:01","date_gmt":"2024-09-30T13:08:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/?page_id=6284"},"modified":"2025-05-11T07:52:15","modified_gmt":"2025-05-11T06:52:15","slug":"connections-part-1","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/connections-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Connections (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Connections (part 1)<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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An exploration of Gardens and the connections that lie therein.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\u00a0<\/p>

Where did my connection to soil come from? I spent most of my childhood washing it off (or my mum washing it off me!). It was a thing to be both embraced; in a \u201cmud pie, carefree, rolling in the dirt, smudged face\u201d, kind of way … and to be avoided; in a \u201cwhat have you been doing, they were clean on this morning!\u201d, kind of way. In a similar way, the word \u201cgardening\u201d was not part of my childhood\/adolescent vocabulary. Indeed, gardening was a word I associated with those approaching death … literally! In the 1960\u2019s north-west of England, I saw the shadow of imminent departure in the faces of those ancient, grizzled, grey haired shuffling old men emerging from the local allotments, it was the 1960\u2019s and I rarely saw any women on the plots. Those grizzled old men wending their way back home, or maybe for an early pint or two, with what seemed to be a \u201ccontented\u201d look on their faces … what was that all about?!\u00a0<\/p>

My first 18yrs were spent in a very small 3-bedroom house in Warrington (Mum, Dad, older brother, and two younger sisters). The garden (20ft x 15ft) was dominated by lawn (18ft x 13ft); it was a postage stamp stuck to an envelope on which the words \u201cNot interested in gardening\u201d <\/em>were scrawled. <\/em>No! \u2026 gardening was not on my radar.\u00a0Nor was it on my parent\u2019s radar \u2026 or so I thought. It wasn\u2019t until my parents were in their 70\u2019s and had moved to a bungalow with a small but decent sized garden (30x40ft), that I saw my dad\u2019s gardening gene assert itself. In my mind, I can still see and hear his growing passion for the flowers he planted and nurtured \u2026 but more of that later. The 2ft border that ran around my childhood lawn was planted with roses and a few annuals the names of which I can\u2019t remember.<\/p>

So where were the seeds of my gardening passion sown? Bottom line \u2026 I don\u2019t know. I have trawled the timeline of my life to date, looking for clues, anything that could shed light on the matter. Was it something visual? Something sensory? Something deeper, some Freudian need for control, something to do with breastfeeding. I don\u2019t know, but here I am\u00a0\u2026 … \u201cand where is that<\/em>?\u201d, you may ask. Having worked full time for nearly 40 years, I am writing from various locations in what is a larger than average garden but by no means \u201can estate\u201d. It measures approximately 300ft x 30ft and is divided into 6 sections (confession \u2013 for reasons unknown to me I am not a lover of the phrase \u201cgarden rooms\u201d)<\/em>.<\/p>

\"\"<\/p>

So, it seems that I have gradually become one of those \u201cgrizzled, grey haired\u201d older men that I remember from my youth. The caveat here is that I\u2019ve shaved my head for the last 30 years although I do retain a grey\/white beard! What sage personal reflections might I be able to tease out in terms of my love of gardens\/gardening? I\u2019ve briefly explored some of my observations below. They are not in order of importance but are documented as my reflections unfolded. My hope is that, in some way, shape or form, you may be able to make some connections to what follows …<\/p>

  1. Gardening as a \u201cdisconnection\u201d<\/strong>: It\u2019s somewhat paradoxical but one of my connections to gardening is that it provided (and still provides), a space to disconnect from other, less attractive, and demanding areas of my life. Some might use the term \u201crefuge\u201d and although there are times when it feels like that, generally, the disconnect is of a gentler nature. It is often a physical process, involving digging, bending, lifting, the repetition of which carry their own benefits (and accompanying endorphin release). As a nurse, the first phase of my working career was an unbelievably rewarding, mental, physical and challenging experience. Over time, the shift from the world of the nurse to the world of the psychologist, whilst also challenging and enjoyable, was an introduction to another world, a world with a primary focus on the cerebral and not the physical.<\/li><\/ol>

    There are times when the stressors associated with \u201clife\u201d seem overpowering. The equilibrium of daily existence is sometimes rocked, perspectives challenged, confidences and certainties bent out of shape. At times like these, gardening beckons \u2026 a space to disconnect and reconnect, to move from uncertainty to a degree of certainty, from perceived powerlessness to simple effectual control, a place in which one can rest easy with familiarity and to occupy a non-judgemental space. This is a world within a world in which one is both disconnecting … and connecting.<\/p>

    In the previous paragraph I used the word \u201cgardening\u201d instead of \u201cthe garden\u201d. This was no accident. There are many out there who have little or no garden (in the traditional sense). Yet the rewards of gardening are still there to be held and nurtured. In a piece to come entitled \u201c100 centimetres\u201d, I will explore the absolute joys I experienced from growing a range of meadow flowers in a 100cm Corten steel circle this year. It was one of the revelations of my gardening life to date. <\/em><\/p>

    1. Gardening as a connection to, and activator of, creativity<\/strong>: Where do I begin? In many ways, I was late to the gardening creativity party. Not that I was in any way, uncreative. When I reflect on my life path to date, creativity has been a central (indeed \u201ccore\u201d) element. It has woven its seductive charms throughout my life to date. Painting as a child (not in an \u201cart school\u201d kind of way!), poetry as an adolescent (all angst and emerging sexuality), music as a young adult (shit violin player), and older adult (the guitar, band, writing songs), my career as a lecturer, the search for understanding (as a psychologist), and now, the creative opportunities afforded by this patch of land.<\/li><\/ol>

      What I was late to realise was how important creativity is in terms of my day-to-day existence. This gradual realisation was nurtured by the garden and is not a benign event. Knowing the importance of creativity has provided me with a framework that I can attend to in times of need. More often than not, at times when I find myself in a period of lethargy, when things seem \u201cdull\u201d and \u201clifeless\u201d, it is, in part, because of the absence of creativity. This might be an opportunity for you to consider the role of creativity in your own world. Remember, creativity doesn\u2019t simply refer to the \u201cbig stuff\u201d, (writing a novel, appearing on TV, having a garden at Chelsea), it includes planting a seed, pruning a rose, creating something slightly different out of the vegetables you\u2019ve just harvested, organising the pots on your balcony for maximum impact … all examples of creativity.<\/p>

      In gardening we literally have creativity at our fingertips … and in that creativity, we have the opportunity to express our \u201cselves\u201d.<\/p>

      1. Gardening as a connection to who you are<\/strong>: This might be a leap too far for some but bear with me. Here\u2019s a question: When you take those daily steps from the back door to the \u201coutside\u201d (to the other world!), are you walking into what is, in part, an expression of who you are? Going down even further into what could become some philosophical gardening rabbit hole, I might ask \u201cIs your garden an expression of who you were, who you are, and who you could be?\u201d<\/li><\/ol>

        Let me illustrate from a personal perspective … It was only after working the garden for several years that I realised how important \u201cseating\u201d is within the space that I was creating. Not just the simplicity of \u201cWhere can I put a chair (or chairs)?\u201d but \u201cHow can I create a space where I can sit … and feel secluded, wrapped, screened off from other parts of the garden, from neighbours, from anywhere else apart from in that space, at that moment?\u201d Over time, I realised that I function best when I am able to experience moments of calm, a self-imposed short period of being alone. Time to reflect, time to plan, time to rest, times to savour … time to breathe.<\/p>

        On a daily \u201cgardening\u201d basis I have learned that I am an individual who, wherever possible, tries to avoid killing anything (slugs included!). I\u2019ve mentioned this elsewhere on the site but it\u2019s worth restating … I\u2019ve learned that my world is impoverished if I cannot express my creativity. My garden has taught me that I can\u2019t have everything right here, right now (see \u201cPatience and the management of expectations). There\u2019s so much more … but this is not a confessional …yet!<\/p>

        One last question for now: Is it possible that your garden (or gardening space), can tell you something about yourself? … … or is that im<\/u>possible?<\/p>

        I\u2019ll continue this exploration in a subsequent post. Hopefully giving some space to a consideration of connections to control, to other people, to pleasure, to humility, and maybe more.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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        \n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBack to Reflections<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Connections (part 1) An exploration of Gardens and the connections that lie therein. \u00a0 Where did my connection to soil come from? I spent most of my childhood washing it off (or my mum washing it off me!). It was a thing to be both embraced; in a \u201cmud pie, carefree, rolling in the dirt, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6301,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"no-sidebar","site-content-layout":"page-builder","ast-site-content-layout":"full-width-container","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"disabled","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"disabled","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6284","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6284"}],"version-history":[{"count":89,"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8433,"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6284\/revisions\/8433"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mygardentalkstome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}